Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
