What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
