addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
