I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
