my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
