ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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