i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
