porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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