Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
