i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
