When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
