Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
