Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
