So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize