I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
