how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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