Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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