I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
