shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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