idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
All the doctor said was why
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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