goodnight i made you a song goodbye
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
