and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
