I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
