Texts From Last Night

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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.

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  (252): I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME. http://tfl.nu/1mf6
  Replies (94) Good night (18509) Bad night (2962)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man

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  (518): Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man http://tfl.nu/kiog
  Replies (32) Good night (2632) Bad night (5078)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.

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  (636): I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss. (314): Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call. http://tfl.nu/9b26
  Replies (4) Good night (996) Bad night (2831)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.

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  (814): My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order. http://tfl.nu/pxpo
  Replies (21) Good night (2749) Bad night (793)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.

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  (207): Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me. http://tfl.nu/clpj
  Replies (10) Good night (1708) Bad night (1143)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.

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  (309): You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks. http://tfl.nu/3xq6
  Replies (7) Good night (3013) Bad night (587)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know

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  (413): styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know http://tfl.nu/4o79
  Replies (9) Good night (1434) Bad night (649)
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  (949): View more from California

  did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?

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  (949): did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass? http://tfl.nu/5kuh
  Replies (9) Good night (1036) Bad night (600)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid

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  (406): Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid http://tfl.nu/t6fb
  Replies (8) Good night (1770) Bad night (606)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.

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  (763): I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down. http://tfl.nu/nif2
  Replies (8) Good night (666) Bad night (418)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.

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  (616): Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high. http://tfl.nu/9cx2
  Replies (0) Good night (756) Bad night (434)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.

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  (202): I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself. http://tfl.nu/zw8t
  Replies (3) Good night (691) Bad night (417)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.

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  (217): Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack. http://tfl.nu/wwoa
  Replies (3) Good night (932) Bad night (374)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?

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  (973): Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990? http://tfl.nu/ls6v
  Replies (1) Good night (388) Bad night (517)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.

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  (613): I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off. http://tfl.nu/h4n7
  Replies (3) Good night (246) Bad night (115)

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