her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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