you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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