We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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