i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
