I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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