I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
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just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize