I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
