DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
