you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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