singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
