i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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