i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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