He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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