Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
