So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I look better un-naked...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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