His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
