I'm lost and stupid without you.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
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Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
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Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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