kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
