I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i used baking grease as lip gloss
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
