i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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