so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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