I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
