xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
