I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
