You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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