Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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