of course. lets lasso hookers.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
