kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
