i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
