I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
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i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
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good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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