i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
