Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
