Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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