is your mom at the bar?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
