Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
