there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
So much Jack, so little girl.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
