I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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