I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
