I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
