I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
