honey bunches of taint.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword