Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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