his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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